grief

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My Thanksgiving Hallelujah

We’d been married 205 days when my body failed my first (un)born. We’d been apart for 148 of those days. My soldier left in the fall, in the brilliance of the dying leaves. He left, and I was pregnant and blissfully naive in the way you can only be when you have yet to suffer real loss. I said goodbye to my husband at midnight in a nondescript gravel lot, with my head tucked up under his chin, breathing in...

Happy Birthday J: On Grace, and Dancing.

Dearest J, my firstborn, my first girl. It’s your birthday tonight, and I’ve got some words to say to you. Truth be told, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed these days … truth be told, I’m a lot overwhelmed . Our life just keeps on happening in trickle down ways on trickle down days, and I turned around and you, my first baby, have been here a decade. I spent most of that decade in a daze wearing yoga pants and...

Love Baghdad. Love Anyway.

(Every time I went to write this, fresh tragedy was overtaking my social media streams. And so this may be old news in this heartbreaking season, but it still matters.) It feels like the world is on fire – and in the dog days of this summer, I am burning from the inside out. It’s an odd thing to be standing in my white skin and the capital of the United States of America and feel like the other. Some days...

On Veterans

We buried (another) friend last week.(I told you about him here, but because his desire was to be buried at Arlington with his fellow veterans, the interment ceremony wasn’t until June. Bear with me-it has been a difficult, emotional season and that has been reflected here on the blog).  And while he didn’t die in combat, surely the past decade or so of war was the death of him. And when the guns went off and taps played, the noise shot right through...

Tell Me Your Story

I heard it said recently that we should be wary of sharing our testimony. With all due respect … I tell you my story because I want you to know my weakness, and His strength. To recount our moments of fear and grief, grace and joy. To sing a song of redemption.  I just told my story for the first time publicly, to the women I grew up with, to the women who have been praying over me and for me...