Fear

Tag

On Hope

Merry Christmas. I love this season of birth, and life, and hope. We are haphazardly telling our children the Advent story and I am stuck somewhere around Abraham and Sarah and God’s promises to them. It is told in Genesis, this story of life come lately, of faith, of promise, and of hope. Then retold again in Romans as a reminder of faith, and the grace He provides to partake.  “Therefore it is of faith that it might be according to...

On Fear, and Not Being Okay.

Two weeks ago, I had a paper cut on my wrist. By lunchtime, it was red and a little sore. By dinner, there were red streaks halfway up my forearm. By the time I swallowed the antibiotics in the emergency room, they were past my elbow. Oh, and a few years, ago, my dad almost died from a staph infection that turned into necrotizing fasciitis in his leg. So when the ER doc tells you he is worried, and lists all the symptoms that...

More about Rocks, my big brother, and my dad. (Part 2 of 3).

To read Part 1, please click here… I have a half-brother, eleven years older than me, who, until college, was unable to have much contact with us. I spent most of my young childhood desperately wishing for an older brother. Two sisters just did not measure up at the time.  Eighteen year old John presented himself in our lives just in time for me to project all of my hero worship right squarely on his broad shouldered back. It may...

Part Seven: The Aftermath.

*This is the final installment in this particular piece of our story. Thanks for reading, for encouraging. Now you know a little more about me, about our Army life, about the beginning. Ever and always, my prayer is that you see grace here.* . . . My darkest days were in the aftermath of her funeral. Highlighted in my beat-up leather study Bible is Psalm 69:1-3, and scribbled by it is the date, Feb. 26, 2006. “Save me, O God! For...

Part Five: The Swallowing Up

*These are events occurring in January of 2006.* . . . In a split second, the fear ate me alive.  It started with a news story and well meaning phone calls. News of a helicopter crash travels fast in our community and I had seen it on the news. A few key details . . . type of aircraft, location, et cetera helps in narrowing down quickly who could be involved. I saw the news photos of one crumpled Blackhawk...

Part One: The First Goodbye

*In case I haven’t made it clear, this is primarily a recounting of events that took place in 2005-2006. This is not happening right now.* We have a death to-do list. I mean, who doesn’t, right? Husband’s initial interment request was that I fly his ashes in a Blackhawk over the Dallas Cowboys stadium and scatter them at halftime during the annual Cowboys-Redskins grudge match football game. No. Not going to happen. Gross on so many levels. In addition, illegal?...

Worry …

Before you read further …. I am sharing this because worry is also part of reason I haven’t blogged as much lately, but since I wrote this, God is providing patience, some rest, and while we have a few answers for some specific questions, there are always more unknowns, so this is ever and always a constant battle. It has come up in several conversations over the past weeks so I wanted to share my thoughts. Just know we are...