So this little postscript on healing is the accidental part two to my previous post. And happens to be the prompt for a lovely community of grace filled writers who get together on Fridays and write and read and encourage.
See, after all that, after 11 plus years of grief and grace, I am reminded afresh that in our darkest moments, God doesn’t give us the answers we think we want.
He is still good. He is still merciful, and holy and just.
I was reading in Hebrews 12 – I am just sort of hanging out there, in Hebrews, treading water mostly.
I was reading about the race, the race God calls us to run.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Keep on going and the next section is titled – Do Not Be Weary.
Well how in the confines of this sin scarred rock am I supposed to do that?
This mama//wife//veteran is bone deep tired. I am weary and aching to the very dark of my soul.
12 Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. 14 Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;
We march forward, one limping step a time. We are healing, bound by a Father who cares for us and for the sparrow, and who has eternal designs on our heart. Because this, this is our destination.
But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable angels in festal gathering, 23 and to the assembly of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, 24 and to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.
Friends, you are my great cloud of witnesses. Your words over the last days have been lovely and kind and brave. We are healing.
Editor’s Note: These words, this exhortation, has given me fresh purpose and renewed spirit over the past week – but you need to hear me say this as well: We are pursuing counseling, and other forms of healing, because we are treating mind, body, AND soul. It is so very important to note that you cannot “good Christian” many of our issues away. Please, if you believe you are struggling from PTSD, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, or other mental health issues, REACH OUT. You are not alone. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are not a failure.