22 Comments

  1. Sarah said:

    Wow Molly thank you for that honesty. I’m obviously not a soldier but having one in the family and loving multitudes of them over this last decade and a half in this church makes me be on alert even more after reading this.

    September 5, 2016
    Reply
    • Molly Huggins said:

      Yep – you guys have a difficult job in a much different way. And so important to us!

      September 9, 2016
      Reply
  2. said:

    Pursue. Pursue. Pursue. I want / need to hear more.

    In the aftermath (5 days post retirement), when there are no more promises or threats of deployments, or even missions to conquer, I’m looking at the future and wondering: what life is this??? I’ve much to process and stir and sort out…

    September 5, 2016
    Reply
    • Molly Huggins said:

      I don’t know how to write more yet? This one is still writing itself … we still have much to process and stir too, friend.

      September 9, 2016
      Reply
  3. This is brave. And beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I am a not a military wife, but this is needed for us to know.

    September 5, 2016
    Reply
  4. Kris Fuhr said:

    We live in that same gray – I shrink when I hear a loud noise or see something that I think might be a trigger. I anxiously look over at my husband and look for signs that he is not ok. And I think this will always be how it is…..and I am grateful he is alive and home and that this is the worst thing we have to deal with

    September 5, 2016
    Reply
    • Molly Huggins said:

      I always talk about grief and gratitude and the spaces between. That’s where we will always live.

      September 9, 2016
      Reply
  5. said:

    This resonates. I’ve been surprised this year by a “tilting” which I never saw coming after almost two decades of Army life and various deployments sprinkled throughout. This is a hard journey, but because it is unrelenting, it tricks us into thinking it’s a normal way.

    September 5, 2016
    Reply
    • Molly Huggins said:

      YES. That is a perfect way to describe it. Love you!

      September 5, 2016
      Reply
  6. Rebecca said:

    How my heart aches for you guys and your family. Almost 5 years now since I’ve been out and the scars remain, scraped open at times when I least expect it, when my carefully packaged and stored memories barge back in. I will pray for you and your hubby for healing that can only happen in time, with patience and love.

    September 6, 2016
    Reply
    • Molly Huggins said:

      YES. Scraped open and unpackaged. Love you, and LOVE seeing that sweet babe of yours. I am so happy for you!

      September 9, 2016
      Reply
  7. said:

    It’s hard to know what to say, except that I’m honored to have read your truth and I wish I could hug you. <3

    I remember the tension everyone around our cul-de-sac felt when Uncle Paul came back from deployment. In my head, it was supposed to be this amazing happy-ever-after, and I remember feeling confused because it was hard, not 100% happy.
    Love you, M.

    September 6, 2016
    Reply
    • Molly Huggins said:

      Oh how I love you. You are such a sweet part of our story.

      September 9, 2016
      Reply
  8. We live in a heavy military community near Fort Campbell and we hear this so often from our neighbors, “they are fine.” BUT their faces, their eyes, their behavior tells a different story. These words you write matters. I am sharing with the MANY army wives I know. ((hugs))

    September 7, 2016
    Reply
    • Molly Huggins said:

      Thank you. Thank you for seeing, and caring for us all.

      September 9, 2016
      Reply
  9. wmunsell11 said:

    This post moved my heart on your family’s behalf. I am praying that Jesus will comfort and heal you and your husband in the midst of the gray. And truthfully? I think your words about… “living in the gray area between fine and invisibly wounded,” describe an awful lot of broken people, military and civilian. Thanks for sharing your heart.

    September 7, 2016
    Reply
    • Molly Huggins said:

      Your prayers are so coveted. Thank you for meeting me here.

      September 9, 2016
      Reply
  10. My ex husband has been deployed three times. Our relationship ended after he became violent but I know he has wounds he wasn’t getting healing for. He is still a good man deep down, just one who’s really hurting. I wish he would of opened up about the pain he was feeling but he held it in. I lived on base for a few years and I know how it feels to be in the shoes of an army wife. We lost many friends to war, saw many families broken and the daughter of one of our friends also took her life. The base is more a family than it is a community and everyone feels the effects of each other’s pain, even when it’s silenced. I have great admiration for the service people and their families but there will always be a special place in my heart for the wives. God bless you XO

    September 7, 2016
    Reply
    • Molly Huggins said:

      Oh my heart aches for you. Thank you for sharing your story. And thanks for taking the time to read mine.

      September 9, 2016
      Reply
  11. […] this little postscript on healing is the accidental part two to my previous post. And happens to be the prompt for a lovely community of grace filled writers who get together on […]

    September 9, 2016
    Reply
  12. Debbie Pinkley said:

    Prayers for both of you….

    September 9, 2016
    Reply
  13. […] over with all the goodness that God gives us – we do. But the Refiner’s fire is hot, and sometimes we are weary and burnt. This life, our life, is so good, but also sometimes it is hard. And so, we sit in silence and I do […]

    October 28, 2016
    Reply

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